If you said yes to any of these questions, then this post is for you.
I’ve been a SAHM for 1 ½ years. In that time, my feelings and emotions towards SAHM life have run the gamut of “heck no” to a “reluctant ok” and finally to “acceptance” and even “excitement” towards my new life.
The key to accepting your role as a SAHM is simple. It comes down to a simple realization:
You are more than “just” a SAHM.
Why SAHM’s Minimize Their Roles
There are a million reasons why SAHM’s minimize their roles.
Today’s mothers are expected to do it all: maintain a high-powered career while also raising a family. When some women realize that it is not possible to do both, or they realize that their career ambitions have changed since having kids, they may choose to leave the workforce. (In my case: a job loss around the birth of my daughter resulted in me simply not returning to work.) However one becomes a SAHM, it is oftentimes accompanied by an incredible amount of guilt and second-guessing.
You might wonder if you are living up to your full potential.
Some days are harder than others. There will be days when you run around taking care of babies all day long, but at the end of the day, there is nothing to show for it. No matter how many times you pick up the house, your toddler will continue to destroy it faster than you can clean it. There will always be laundry to do and dishes to wash.
It is easy to get stuck in a SAHM rut when your days are mostly the same. Repeating the same chores, over and over again. Dealing with fussy kids or (in my case) two toddlers, can be exhausting.
When this happens, it is time for an attitude shift.
Tips to Find Happiness and Acceptance as a SAHM
- Attitude Shift: One of the only things you can control in life is your attitude. If you wake up and think, “today will be a good day,” it most likely will be. Alternately, if you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and complain about every single annoyance, you will most likely have a bad day.
Being a SAHM is exhausting. It’s a never-ending job. But something as simple as a shift towards a more positive attitude, can make all the difference.
- Gratitude: Attitude and gratitude go hand-in-hand. If you are grateful for your life and grateful for your children, then it is unlikely you will have a bad attitude towards your life as a SAHM.
Attending church weekly helps me be a better mother, because it reminds me what a blessing my children are, (especially on the days they are acting like little hellions.) It also shows me that I am not alone, and that whatever trials I am going through, they are nothing compared to what others have faced.
- Hobbies: Do not give up all your hobbies just because you are a mother. Sure, you may have less time to devote to them, but giving them up is a surefire way to find yourself in a SAHM funk. In fact, you may find yourself resenting your children and your husband, if you stop indulging in your hobbies once you become a mom.
Every woman has something she does that makes her special.
Maybe you are a writer. Maybe you can draw or paint. Maybe you are a crafter, or an excellent cook, or a gardener. Maybe you run marathons. Whatever you do, keep doing it.
- Side Hustles: A lot of SAHM’s feel guilty or undervalued because the role of SAHM is not a paying job. Society tells you that if you aren’t making money, then your role is not valuable. Although any SAHM understands that raising children is one of the most important jobs imaginable.
To combat these feelings of guilt or worthlessness that may arise, it helps to have a side hustle. A side hustle is simply a way of bringing in a little extra money each month. Maybe you can babysit a few hours a month. Or do a little freelancing. Or perhaps find an online job like I did.
This blog is an outlet for me to indulge in my writing hobby. It gives me something to look forward to every week, outside of the somewhat mundane tasks of a SAHM of 2 under 2, and a school-age stepdaughter.
I’ve returned to the gym and started focusing on physical fitness again. I was not happy with my postpartum body. But now I realize that I have the power to change that. Going to the gym is a chance for me to focus on “me” again. I look forward to meeting up with a friend to do weight-training, and there is no better cure for depression than giving it your all at the gym.
I wrote a blog post on all of my Side Hustles and Money-Saving Tips as a SAHM of 2 under 2. Read it HERE. In general, I make an extra $300-$400 per month via side hustles. Though it is no great amount; it makes me feel good to know that I am contributing to the family financially.
Remember: You are a Mother, but You are Also So Much More!
Readers: Do you ever find yourself struggling with feeling like you are “just” a SAHM? Do you agree with my tips for finding Happiness as a SAHM?