Learning that Life Doesn’t Happen According to Timelines
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my 32 years on this Earth is this: Life doesn’t happen according to timelines.
Sure, if you are a Type-A planner like me, you can attempt to plot out the course of your life. But you will find that it doesn’t work out quite like you planned.
Life-altering Milestones and Moments
When you think about your life, milestones and moments stand out. Many of these are unplanned, or times when your life veered off from a predictable course.
Perhaps you did not achieve your long-sought after career goal. Or maybe you were a young mom and had to put your dreams on the backburner until your children grew older. Or maybe a close family member became ill and you had to become a caregiver.
Think about the life-altering moments in your own life.
A few such moments in my life:
- Not getting accepted into medical school and having to reevaluate my career aspirations.
- Getting Toxic Shock Syndrome. I was 23 and all the sudden I was sick and the doctors could not figure out what was wrong. Not having your health gives you a different perspective on life.
- My ex-fiancé leaving town and abandoning me 2 days before our planned wedding day. Instantly realizing that the future I had planned with him was over.
This motivated me to stop wasting my time when it came to relationships and acknowledge what was in front of me. That my “guy friend” was more than a friend. I ended up marrying said “guy friend.”
- Losing my job and having two babies within one year. The combination of this double whammy made my decision to become a SAHM, albeit a Reluctant SAHM, a bit of a no-brainer.
Letting Go of the Need to Control
Now that I have discussed life not happening according to timelines on a large-scale, let’s break it down to the small-scale, and day-to-day life.
One of the most difficult aspects of new motherhood is letting go of preconceived plans and schedules.
As the mother of a newborn, you realize super quickly that your days no longer follow any pre-set schedule. You are simply at the whim and mercy of a pint-sized baby who has no concept of day or night, and only cares about eating, sleeping, and pooping.
As a SAHM of 2 under 2, I TRY, emphasis on Try, to write as often as I can. Writing a simple blog post such as this becomes a feat of epic proportions, when you consider how many distractions I have while writing. Crying hungry babies, poopy diapers, the list goes on…
Mothers have to be versatile, and ready to change their plans at a moment’s notice. My whole household came down with a summertime cold, which means that we won’t be going to the neighborhood pool until the kiddos start feeling better.
Some days I feel like I rock it as a SAHM, and on other days I struggle. Teething, fussiness, neediness, you name it, can keep me from completing my checklist of household chores for the day. Some days I complete several loads of laundry and make a nice dinner, and other days I save the laundry for another day and make sandwiches for dinner.
Just because you may not have completed everything you set out to do today, does not make you a bad mom. We all need a break sometimes.
Surely, one can see that life does not happen according to timelines. But you know what? That is ok.
Sometimes those missteps and life-altering moments can be blessings in disguise.
If my ex-fiancé hadn’t left me two days before our wedding day, I would have married the wrong man. If I had become a doctor, then I might not have ever started this blog, and I would not have re-ignited my passion for writing.
I picture myself as a little girl of seven or eight, writing stories on a notepad at my mom’s desk. My earliest dream was to become a writer, and that dream has never left. It was simply pushed down amidst the other more-pressing responsibilities of life. But now, that dream is becoming a reality.
Life may not work out how you plan, but nonetheless good things come when you least expect them.
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